I never thought I would be where I am, it must happen to everyone when they reflect on their lives. To think that they went on a totally different path that they thought they would. As it is my birthday, I am reflecting on what has been my life. Here are my thoughts on turning 30. All the blessings, experiences, adventures and misadventures that have come with making it this far.
Since I was in grade school, I had dreamed of living somewhere else. I’ve always had a love for travel. I got that from my parents. They taught me there is a whole world out there for me to explore and experience. That may be why the city I grew up in felt so small and suffocating. I had a pretty good life there, but in the end I always wanted to leave. I felt like I didn’t really belong there.
Before I met my now hubs at 15, I spend a summer in the Netherlands with an aunt and uncle. That changed my life forever, my very first solo trip abroad. For some, it sounds scary that I traveled that far by myself at 15. Tbh I didn’t even think about it, I wasn’t even nervous, I was excited.
The sense of freedom I got on this trip I think was what changed me forever. Arriving in a place where you bike everywhere, without having your parents take you, was so exciting. The landscape was/is breathtaking, the town is full of history, and learning a totally new language were the icing on the cake. And being with my aunt and cousins that I had missed so much, made it all the better. I loved it so much I even considered moving there. As a teenager. I came back home just at the beginning of high school and something stopped me in my tracks.
I met L and well and what can I say, I married the guy. He is awesome, and he gets me, even with all my craziness. But even then, I still dreamed that one day we would leave, with him. During my high school and college years I kept traveling, mostly with my family, some trips with L and some with friends. But I was always looking for that sense of freedom. It wasn’t freedom from my family or L, but freedom from the place that I lived in. I even had the opportunity to spend a summer in Montreal. Instead of just calming me down, again, I wanted to move there.
Fast forward to my college graduation, and I had two months to find a job or my visa would expire. I had applied everywhere, and nothing. Finally, when my hopes where at an ultimate low, I found a job in Dallas. I couldn’t waste the opportunity, so on I go, to a city I knew nothing about. L and I where still together during that time, but it almost broke us apart. It was the most difficult part of our relationship.
But I had to prove myself that I could make it on my own. There where good and bad experiences from that time in my life but they all taught me so much. I hated the negative dynamic in my office, but I also made some friends for life. I fell in love with the city but, I still loved traveling and exploring new places. The travel bug is real people.
When I moved to Portland, I moved to be with L. I quit my job and left my friends to move to an entirely new city (and world, it seemed like). And during my time there we got engaged and married, It is also where this blog was born. We also traveled during this time, to Mexico, Canada and around Oregon. But we never fell in love with Portland, the city felt strange and distant. It was too far away from family, and we started to evaluate why we where there. We felt stuck and I, even without knowing, felt that suffocation I had felt when I was little. There were good times in Portland and we will always treasure that. We learned to be married there.
But when L got an opportunity to transfer closer to home, in Arizona, we took that decision in a heartbeat. Its the best of both worlds, we are in a big city, and we are close to our family. We are now in the perfect spot where I feel like I can thrive, and I already am. Never have I felt more at ease with the blog, and with my life.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in all these years and now feel like there’s nothing holding me back. Not only because I turn 30, it is just this point in my life where everything is falling into place. Living Ananda is still is not where I would like it to be, but I know I will get there sometime. I don’t want to sacrifice the opportunity I have of focusing on it full time.
I will keep on traveling, exploring and looking for that high. But I also am hoping to grow professionally during the next few years. I won’t deny it it is hard, but I wouldn’t do it any other way.
Thanks for reading all these ramblings of mine. It feels good to let it all out. So there you go, my thoughts on turning 30. I’ll go eat cake now. It’s been a great life so far 🙂
